Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
