dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
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