yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
