adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
