i just google imaged poop.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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