my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
