I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
