You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
