you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You're a waste of cheezeits
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
