Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
