I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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