Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
