Will you blow on my dice?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
