ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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