she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
