oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
