In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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