I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
