Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
