And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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