Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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