It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
