i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
