Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
