I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
