Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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