When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
