I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
