dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
