I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
