I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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