My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
