i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think my vagina is haunted
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
