i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
