I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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