I wanna bring you to show and tell
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like death gave me a hand job
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
