i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
