You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
