i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
