So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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