i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
