It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
