Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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