I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
