I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
