He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
