You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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