we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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