What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
