I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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