his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
